Kano has the day off:)
As older moms, we are supposed to have our stuff together. Despite a few wrinkles, we are expected to exude calm strength, guiding the family seamlessly, while hubby hunts and gathers and children morph into respectable adults. We balance a million things on the head of a pin before 10 am. Mummy is calm. Mummy is dependable. Mummy is the root system of the family tree. Mummy might nag a bit and fuss a lot, but essentially the equation remains the same. Mummy rocks the cradle and rules the household. This a genius and time honored concept. Apart from the fact it is flawed. Because mummy is just a person. She has unique strengths, but unique weakness and blindspots. She has her own joys and sorrows and her own moments when it all gets a bit too much. Sometimes mummy can’t be calm. Sometimes mummy can’t be strong. Then what? The touch paper is lit, the rocket is launched and mommy turns in to a she devil of epic proportions, unrecognizable to herself, her partner, her children. The blessed release from loosing it evaporates into the ether. Stunned, the family grab at Mummy’s heartstrings and a big fat seed of guilt is planted deep in the family garden. The initial response is to cry, apologize and recant, to fuss and rush around, to put salve on the families’ mummy inflicted wounds, to patch things up and minimize the drama . Go mummy ! But this older mummy has learnt something. Apologies only count if you learn something and initiate change. Unconditional love is only unconditional if it is never questioned and true forgiveness only happens when the family can move on, hand in hand taking, care of each other’s hearts . Love and forgiveness are the most precious commodities . Love and forgiveness should not to be underestimated. Love and forgiveness are the soil on which the family can grow.
